I've always wanted to be a dancer. It claimed the top spot on my list, next to singer/songwriter and Princess (secret princess of course and some day someone would reveal this truth to me…I'm still waiting). I was a Ballet dancer in grade school but I was also a little lazy in grade school and shit at sticking with something. I'm talking to you Guitar and Piano…and foreign languages.
When I approached my parents about dancing again years later, my father very appropriately replied with, "most dancers end up dancing on tables", and that was the end of the discussion. I don't mention this to say that had it not been for my father I would have been a Prima Ballerina in some prestige ballet company dancing Swan lake and quite honestly perhaps retired by now because I'm no spring chicken by Ballet standard. No, I'm not stupid. I say this because every time I dance I think about that statement…every time some stranger says to me, "are you a ballerina?" it crosses my mind and nearly escapes my lips.
When I was in junior high, I thought about dancing again, but much like my singer/songwriter dream it seemed quite the long shot. Being the realistic kid that I was, I decided that a Accountant would be a safer dream choice. I was a very mature child and also quite good at math and organization…and perhaps a little weird.
My Belly dancing instructor has been trying to break me of my Ballerina habits still engrained in me after 20 years. When I walk into a dance school, I still hold my body as if going through the positions. Doing a turnout without even realizing it. I crave the plié and the petit jeté. Belly dancing is more relaxed…they love to tell you "just let the fat jiggle!!". But Ballerinas have no fat! I weigh 106 for Pete's sake...what is there to jiggle?
After watching "The Adjustment Bureau" on Tuesday I couldn't take the longing anymore. I was a little dramatic when I got home, as I was also wanting a true love soul mate who was damning the authority to be with me. Still being the smart realistic kid that I am, I choose to go with the dance option.
I went online today to look for classes. I'd looked in the past with no luck. Adults don't seem to interested in taking Ballet. And yet there seems to be a almost disturbing amount interested in Hip Hop. Landing on the Nashville Ballet website I noticed a small link that said…."Adult Classes". I am now filling out registration papers. I plan to take all the classes I can until I progress to the more advanced classes.
I sprained the ligament on my right foot last week. Its wrapped in a ace bandage and I can't walk normally. Was I hiking? Was I jumping down from a tree or running the track in the backyard? No, I was doing something really strenuous ….casual walking then dancing around my house. My class starts in 2 weeks so hopefully my foot will be usable by then. Foot, don't ruin my dream!!
I've taken classes here and there over the years but most of the dance magic happens nearly every night at my house. I have the New York Ballet workout book. There's no barre…or teacher, or tutu but none of that is needed when the music starts and you can feel the moves in your soul before your muscles form them. OKay, sometimes you need the tutu…
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
If I was from Paris....Grace Potter and more in Concert
Music reviews are quite honestly useless now when it takes only seconds to pull up an artist online and listen for yourself. Yet articles that read simply, "LISTEN TO…….(fill in the blank)…TRUST ME" hardly sells records either. So reviews, discussions and blogs about music continue and I continue to dance about architecture.
I attended two concerts this week…6 if you count each band individually. =) On Monday at Exit/IN I saw, in order of performance, "The Kicks" and "The Old Ceremony," opening for "Eisley" and "Rooney". I didn't bring my camera to this show having forgot to ask in advance the camera policy of the venue. Not having that noose around my neck can be quite freeing sometimes, but some photographic evidence would have been nice too. A certain someone I've mentioned before also attended this concert which could have possibly been why I deemed it so unforgettable. My 4 star rating might be a tad tainted. And I tell you this part only to further exemplify just how cool and smooth I am, I literally fell on to him when I missed a step walking over to him. God must love a good awkward comedy, because I feel like I'm always in one.
"The Kicks" were a local Nashville band and fun enough to warrant my email being added to their mailing list for future concerts. Or perhaps it was the cutie guitarist asking me so sweetly...which I replied, "Okay, but its my junkmail one..." which got a few laughs. Their cd has been added to the listening station in my car…an awesome nod by the way. I noticed today it was recorded at Sputnik Sound which was that cool Christmas party I attended last year…such a small world this Nashville.
"Eisley" was having mic issues but still clearly ensured their new album would be added to my collection. If you love "Sixpence None the Richer," you will probably enjoy Eisley as well. "Rooney" brought the energy and made me sweat out any toxins that were left hiding in my body. I couldn't understand fans who just stood there…staring blankly as if listening to poetry night at the local cafe. I hope they weren't rating the music on its ability to move them. I got home around 1am from this concert and was so full of excitement I couldn't sleep. I ended up making dinner among a slew of other things and working the next day on 4 hours of sleep. It was like being an irresponsible 20 year old again. =P
On Thursday I saw at Cannery Ballroom "Jonathan Tyler and the Northern Lights" opening for "Grace Potter and the Nocturnals". And this concert is what I will go on and on about….with pictures anyway.
Jonathan Tyler I hadn't listened to previously so I went in completely and pleasantly surprised. It was a 1970s explosion. At first almost comically done by their threads but halfway through the first song you realized it was quite authentic. We'd gone back in time..and that pencil thin 'stach was stretched across a mouth that could wail. If I still had photoshop I could remove the bald man who ruined a lot of my shots. lol
It's taken me a couple of days to talk about the Grace Potter concert. It rocked my world and my socks off simultaneously. It left me speechless and even now I am having a hard time saying more than it was the best concert I've ever been too. So just enjoy the pictures, play the cd and pretend you were there.
Every band needs at least two guitarists. Scott and Benny were so awesome.
The setlist included songs from the last 3 albums and a few covers.
Above: Grace covering a "My Morning Jacket" song.
During the show, a woman leans over to me and informs me that she is a 911 operator and that there are tornadoes touching down in Franklin. So I guess I will forgive her for texting during the show. And unbeknownst to those of us rocking out, there were also Tornado sirens waling outside in Nashville.
Grace's voice oozes so much sex appeal that even the non smokers were craving cigarettes, that the ladies in the audience had a collective thought, "Hmmm…do I really like guys?" and everyone was mentally preparing with whom they were going to get busy with as soon she hit the last note.
The music…oh my….the music…..every song seem to be the rock out closer…but then another would begin. A continuing cycle of musical awesomeness.
Every band should have two girls in it. It's just better that way.
Oh Benny....
Eventually "Paris" ended the show followed by two encores…a cover of "Crazy on you" and their song "Medicine"…..which ended with everyone playing the drums at the same time. lol
When the show was over, I waited for the cluster to break apart and thin out before heading for the doors. But at the second set of doors the same cluster seemed to be waiting, as there was quite the down pour happening outside. So in the waiting crowd I removed my fish nets and stilettos (Hot..I know), put my camera in a plastic bag I'd brought just in case (God, I'm smart) and ran through the parking lot barefoot and soaked to the bone by the time I reached my car. I know what you're thinking, "where's that picture?". Yea, I thought about it but the logistics were just too crazy.
Turning onto Franklin Road there was something odd about the drive home. It took me a second to realize just what it was…the absence of light. The traffic and street lights were out. It was pitch black nearly the whole drive home which quite frankly was scary as hell. But as I got closer to Franklin there was light at the end of the tunnel and besides a few neighbors trash cans blown into my driveway and a few tree branches all was serene. I'd been in Paris in the 1970s and missed the whole damn thing.
P.S.
Comments are appreciated. I know everyone likes to send me personal messages but it makes it look like no one reads this thing but me. =P
Monday, February 21, 2011
Taking care of myself...My love/hate relationship with doctors.
For most of the last 20 years I have been at war with my body. If its not my skin, its the muscles, if its not the muscles its my organs, if its not the organs its the spine…and so on and so on. I'm captivated by Science and yet modern medicine pisses me off. Saddled with the worst pain of my life in my 20's and given drug after drug and procedure after procedure with no positive outcome does that to you. I came to loathe doctors. I've been diagnosed with Gastric Reflux, Migraine Headaches, Endometriosis, Eczema and a slew of others. It was one big guessing game and I was the guinea pig they poked and prodded.
The worst of the worst Doctor story was a day back in 2001.
I sat in a doctors office with severe abdominal pain. He was treating me for a bad car accident in which I was driving home around 11 or so at night, when a car slammed into the side of my car throwing it over the median and into upcoming traffic. It was a old car, no airbags. I was actually about a foot short of hitting a metal utility pole so it could have been worse. The driver had just left a Bar and pleaded with me that he'd had 2 DUI's and couldn't risk a third. Why on earth he thought I'd take pity on him was beyond me, he asked if he could just give me some money and have his friend fix my car. I had managed to climb out of my smashed up car, dazed and in shock and saw one of my wheels rolling down the street. I remember saying, "Your friend can't fix this! My car is twisted!" As he tried to leave the scene, the cops pulled up.
My lawyer had hired this doctor…this should have been the first tip off. This man was a real tool. Day after day, week after week, my pain levels never lowered. It wasn't just my back and neck but my abdominals. I was originally told my stomach was bruised by the seatbelt and the pain would go away soon. But it never went away, it got worse. Here I sat in a cold room gripping my stomach, on the verge of tears and waiting for Dr. IHaveNoTimeSeeYou see me. I waited for what seemed like hours shivering and longing for a heating pad and a baseball bat to knock myself out with. Then I heard the nurse say my name in the hallway. The Doctor started yelling at her that he didn't have time to see me…that I was fine..and that I was making up the pain for pain meds. At that point I don't know what was stronger, the pain in my gut or the rage building in my head.
The door flew open and he walked in immediately accusing me of not really being in pain. I was crying now and this only infuriated him. He insisted I needed to go to another doctor because this was probably a "family doctor" kind of thing and had nothing to do with my car accident which was the only treatment he was being paid to treat me for. I explained this all started from the car accident and he said the pain would go away. "Fine, I'll do a pelvic exam, I don't know who is going to pay for this!" he yelled. I should have walked out right then but being shy and 21 years old I didn't know that I could. So this monster proceeded with doing a pelvic exam. I don't know that you've ever had a pelvic by someone who is not only enraged but also holds a special loathe for you but I don't recommend it. Its just short of sexual assault. I got dressed after, left the building crying and never went back. I didn't even sign out.
1 year later I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis. I had been in and out of the hospital with the same pain I'd been enduring since the car accident. I had great insurance and as long as I had no answers I kept seeing new specialists. At this point, I couldn't even wear pants, it hurt for anything to touch my stomach, even the elastic band of my underwear was painful. I wore loose dresses and spent my evenings in a hot bathtub drugged to high heaven. The only reason someone caught this diagnosis was because I collapsed at work. I gripped my stomach and fell to the floor in the middle of the lunch rush at the Bank I worked at. It felt like burning hot liquid was rushing over my insides. I remember thinking my appendix was rupturing and I was about to die. I wasn't ready to die and not at this stupid Bank! At the hospital watching them rub the ultrasound on my belly, they said a cyst on my ovary had ruptured and there were 3 more about a quarter size, 2 on one ovary and 1 on the other. The scar tissue in my abdomen was everywhere and pulling and tearing then healing and wrapping around my insides. It was no wonder I was in so much pain. It was like a bomb went off in there. They scheduled a laparoscopic surgery to remove some scar tissue and as much as the disease that they could. I felt a relief to know what was finally wrong with me but the relief was only temporary. The doctor had very few answers for me. They didn't know much about it at all other than it might be a new autoimmune disease. They could only offer me two possible treatments…surgery, possibly every other year, or go on the Pill which might help by regulating my hormones. I explained the Pill wasn't a possibility because I'd had horrible side effects with it 3 years prior and I'd tried all the different kinds and doses and so that was a no go. He almost showed concern in his eyes now as he said then they could only treat me with pain medication. I then asked the question I really didn't want the answer too, "What about children, can I have children?" He looked at the floor. He took a long sigh then said, "You can always try, but…."and he trailed off.
It took months to heal from the surgery. No way I was having this every other year. I wasn't able to lift anything over 10 pounds so I always had to call my male co-workers to come over when we had boxes of change come in. Laughing was the worst! I had to roll out of bed in the morning…things you forget your abs do for you. When I was healed from that, the original pain had lessened. Sex was still horribly uncomfortable. I don't know how I endured it really. It was like jabbing a giant bruise.
A few years later I saw a Naturopathic Physician. My dad had paid for the appointment thinking that maybe they could help me. I thought what the hell, I've tried everything else, and went. We talked for hours about everything I'd been through, what I'd been diagnosed with, what I was eating, my emotional state, my marriage, work, exercise…everything.
She did some realignments which was pretty much every part of my body…from a tilted pelvis to my hip being out…to my shoulders, and several ribs. I'd never been been to a Chiropractor either, with all the physical therapy I'd had from 2 car accidents in my life and this was the first time? This was all very new to me the fact that I was walking funny and everything was out of place for God knows how long. I felt about 6 inches taller when I left. =P Hmmm, perhaps this was why I couldn't sit in a chair for longer than say 15 minutes.
But the best suggestion that day was this…."ya know Sarah, Soy is a natural Estrogen and Estrogen fuels your endometriosis. Why don't you cut out the soy and lets see what happens."
I went home and studied Soy for days. It was a natural Estrogen. In fact if my Endometriosis was a Gremlin, then Soy was the giant swimming pool of water. I was drinking a Chocolate Soy milkshake everyday before my Tennis lesson…I was eating Edamame with every meal. But it wasn't just the obvious…Soy was in EVERYTHING. It was hiding in Chocolate bars, in cans of soup, in anything packaged and processed. This was going to be harder than I thought. During my research I also discovered a chatroom where a woman mentioned that anytime her husband ate something with soy in it he complained of a migraine soon after. WHAT?? Could this be the blame for my migraines as well? So I went cold turkey. I'd been getting debilitating Migraines at least 3 times a week. The first week I went without soy, they stopped. I think it was 6 months before I got another migraine. The abdominal pain also went away. I don't know that my endometriosis is cured as I haven't had another ultrasound and examination but I've only experienced that kind of pain a few times in the last 10 years! After Soy, I gave up Wheat, Red meat, fast food and refined sugar. With those went the Eczema, the gastric reflux and every other discomfort I'd been enduring my whole life.
<----- br="" ggplant="" sandwich="">
I go in and out of my severities…I will occasionally have some bread at a restaurant and I let sugar back in after a little over a year of cold turkey. I now only buy organic raw sugar or honey. I've also made the decision to only buy from the health food store and the farmers market. Its not always organic but I try to the best of my ability with my budget. I know organic can be pricey but would you rather give your money to the massively wealthy chemical companies or the local farmer?
Because all that cheap food has a very steep price and its your health. I have never felt better in my life. When my whole Branch at work got the flu this year and I mean every last one of them and they had everything from fever, to infections, to vomiting and were out from 3 days to 12 days…I was sick for about 24 hours. My body fought it off with the help of a lot of Vitamin C and Echinacea and I was exhausted after but I healed very quickly.
On a side note….my dogs have the same diet. They used to suffer from skin conditions, arthritis, stomach issues, fleas and their hair falling out. They now eat natural wheat, soy and sugar free food that I top with Flax seed oil. I stopped all chemicals treatments they tell you to put on your dogs skin but tell YOU to wear gloves while doing it. My dogs problems have all stopped. They have full healthy coats and at 12 and 7 years old, they act like puppies again and are super soft!----->
Monday, February 14, 2011
Smile Singleton...It's Valentines Day
Most mornings as of late I've woken up happy. Even more so when the sun is creeping through my blinds and the alarm hasn't gone off yet. The puppies wait eagerly on the floor below for me to make the slightest move. My bed is very high off the floor…3.5 feet actually, so you want to make sure all the cylinders are running before you get out of bed. There's a large mirror against the wall so I see my skinny pale legs every morning as I climb down.
I have a little crush. And this tiny wild seed grows a European garden of happiness. Something that makes me grin when no one is around is a new one for me. I find myself skipping the sad songs and putting the happy ones on repeat. With the slightest glance, this man can light me like a firecracker. Not to be overly dramatic but I think of him to be the most beautiful man I've ever seen in real life…so far. I'm sure I read like a freakin' idiot but since I feel like I'm from another planet most of the time anyway, I don't embarrass too easily anymore. I've become more comfortable with myself enough to say, "that's how I feel, take it or leave it".
It's Valentine's Day and I'm single. I haven't been single on Valentine's day since 2000. I called my single girlfriends who seem to just want to get past this dreadful day. But none of that even accrued to me this morning because I have a semi-permanent smile across my face. I bought lavender roses for my female co-workers…I bought a flowerless chocolate cake and decorated it with purple sugar and strawberries. I painted my toenails pink and my fingernails purple with little pink hearts. I put on my red sparkly heels and a short skirt and smiled all day long at work wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's Day. And I meant it…
Disclaimer: I did get a little snarky with a few guys…asking them if today was everything they dreamed it would be. Or asking an older woman if her husband had planned anything exciting like a hot air balloon ride. =P (Which really isn't so uncommon in Franklin, I see hot air balloons all the time.)
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