I have what anyone currently residing on planet earth would describe as a dream job. It chiefly involves working remotely from a house on the beach and looking after a very large, by all standards, dog. I’ve always loved dogs. The first “when I grow up” profession was Veterinarian before I learned what that job mostly consisted of. I’ve had many dogs throughout my life starting with a St. Bernard followed by a Golden Retriever whom gave me the scar I have on my cheek, Chow Chows, and Labradors. As an adult there were two, Zoe a Chihuahua mix and Patrick, a Toy Fox Terrier/ Jack Russell. I loved these dogs more than anyone I was in a relationship with. I would choose them over people in a heartbeat. They were there to snuggle with me through every heartbreak and every trauma. When Zoe died in 2015 shortly after suffering a stroke at the age of 18, it was the worst grief I’d ever been met with. I’d see her everywhere. When Patrick died in 2019, it was after a slew of awful events and I think I was too depleted to handle it. Both dogs had died in my arms. My arms were empty for the first time, I was alone. I had no desire to start over with another dog. All my friends had dogs I could look after, and that was enough.
Enter the panther...IE Fila Brasileiro (Mastiff)
Some people come into your life to shake you up or turn your world upside down. I’m coming to realize the same can be said for animals. Even as I’m writing this, he is chewing on my arm. He studies my face. If my face is frustrated, irritated or anything other than smiling, the challenge is on. Bite and bark until I get up from that chair. He despises my cellphone. As soon as I pick it up, the challenge is back. If I’m talking on it, he barks, a loud bellowing you can’t possible hear over this bark. If I’m texting he bites my ankles, harder and harder until I yelp.
It’s not that he’s a bad dog. He’s in fact a good dog. I’ve gone through training with him. He knows how to sit, stay, lay down, shakes with the left or the right whichever I ask for and heals. He walks well on a leash, and he barks at strangers near the house but not on walks. He’s gentle with older people and with younger people. And though not my dog, he has bonded to me. He knows I am the bringer of food, but I have also been deemed his playmate in life. And he wants to spend all our mornings and evenings wrestling.
He surpassed me in size about 2 months ago. He has about 20 lbs on me now. My shoulders and arms have muscles appearing from simply handling him, usually in quick defense moves. My torso and legs are covered in bruises, often times just from run ins or him stepping on my feet. He has the Karate Kid move down and sweeps the leg while I'm walking to the kitchen. Let me set the scene... it's early am, I'm walking to the kitchen to make coffee, he walks directly behind me, then he quickly hooks one leg with his bear size paw and pulls out. And in my head he then laughs and laughs. Though technically still a puppy at 8 months, his size could be described as pony, jungle cat or velociraptor.
For about 4 years now I’ve been waiting for a promise to come to pass. I’ve been reading until my eyes blur on waiting vs patience. Waiting is sitting around frustrated with a big maybe, while patience is expectant with a willingness to wait as long as it takes. Patience does not come easily. Patience is a consistent work in you. Consistent. If you had asked me prior to now if I was a patient person I would have foolishly said, absolutely! My pet velociraptor knows otherwise. He doesn’t chew my arm to harm me. He chews my arm because he wants my attention and it is consistent. He doesn’t understand why I would sit at a computer for hours if I’m not chewing on it. I can throw the bouncy balls and fill the Kong with almond butter and excitedly offer the marrow bones but he will choose my arm or my ankles first. He wants a personal relationship with me. Much like a small child, he is teaching me patience.
And what a difference it makes when you recognize these challenges that are actually stimulating growth. What a wonderful gift it is to grow, to move in new ways with patience. When you can shift your focus off the frustration and on to the favor and the grace. When I typed that he jumped over the back of my chair, put his front paws around me almost as if hugging me, I smiled and then he bit my head. Consistent.
