The Moniker - Jesse Daniel Edwards as Juni Ata

The Moniker 

I've set out to capture the vulnerable solo sets up to musicians spilling over the edges of the stage. My favorite was never a secret. 

He carries his own instrument beneath his skin in between his head and heart. It can stand alone or lead an orchestra. The only instrument worthy to parallel his own is the piano, and they meet as masterfully as the horizon. 

Songwriting at it's purest, life's moments felt not simply recalled. The torturous reopening of the wounds forced and self-inflicted. The listener is in the midst of it, often uncomfortably so, but unable to pull away. You find yourself in them beautifully broken. 

I met him in the aftermath when the stories were brief and vague. For a few minutes that first night, a boy stood in front of me so young I almost didn't recognize him. Over the years I watched him try on a multitude of disguises. Cloaking himself in everyone's clothes but his own. Baring his most painful memories for a room of strangers then putting that experience on repeat, night after night. 

What armor would you need to protect yourself? What vices would you need to numb it? Would you be brave enough to speak the truth? 

In concert, my camera is my armor as I'm surrounded by his reinforcements from the East and the strongholds in the West. I would be overwhelmed by emotion without it. Nevertheless, it is also the secret pathway from my heart into the world. I try to capture a glimmer of what beats so beautifully beneath. 

 His pathway is his voice through song. Uniquely his own. It will not be heard and then forgotten. It will break you wide open, reach for your heartstrings, and create a wondrous collaborative. 

Album Available August 21st, 2020

Juni Ata (Website)

Meant to be enjoyed on Vinyl 

Juni Ata - Woodstock Sofa Sessions July 2020 

Songs from the upcoming album Saudade

Secret of You - Single- 

from the compilation Album Cavity Search 2020

Jesse Daniel Edwards

Slow Process of Restoration (Long Covid)

I took breathe for granted. 

The ease of air through my lungs at rest, through exertion, through song. 

The once beautiful silence inflates into a crumpled bag.

The stress of all I didn’t do with them collects on their walls. 

This body has gone through so much healing, again and again. Hit after hit aiming for the mind, the heart, the immune system. To be broken into pieces so fine, they are unrecognizable. 

Rock bottom was only the beginning. 

A layer of corrosion hides the only raw materials I need. 

And it’s a slow process of restoration. 

I’ll take a walk again without losing my breath. I’ll run, I’ll climb, I’ll swim. 

I’ll sing at the top of my lungs driving down the backroads across my beautiful country. 

S. Bello © 2020

Hidden Wonders: The Hike to Waimanu

Waimanu

Muliwai Trail to Waimanu - 17.5 Miles Roundtrip

My younger brother is a painter. Excited about finding a subject for his next painting, he hoped the Muliwai trail to Waimanu would give him some stellar landscapes. We got up before dawn in our board shorts and hoodies, coffee thermos in hand and drove from Kona to Waipio Valley. We watched the sun rise in Waimea next to a snow capped Mauna Kea cooling the air to 51. 

Bold blue skies stretched overhead in Waipio as we bounced along the 4WD road down into the valley. Stepping out on the black sand beach we reevaluated the contents of our single rugged backpack. Bare essentials mostly comprised of photography equipment, leaving room for our hoodies as the day warmed up. 

Waipio Valley

The fresh water river dividing the black sand beach was our first traverse. Normally not a worry but my camera was only protected by a zip lock bag. A little slippery and I froze with fear. I could hear my brother telling me it was okay, keep going but it was so faint by the sound of the waves. I felt for sand between the rocks and kept going. 

Waipio Valley

Rainbow Waves

Surfer - Waipio Valley

Surfer - Waipio Valley

The waves swelled and crashed on the beach. Surfers ran past us, boards tucked under their arms. We did get a little distracted by the sets coming in. We found the black sand trail behind the first windbreak of pines to take us to the Muliwai trailhead. The handpainted sign provided helpful information. =) 

Waimanu Trail Marker

The sun had only begun to warm the air and as we walked under trees the cool breeze kept us at a steady pace. As the climb began to gain altitude, the rocks became larger to scale. My breathing began to labor and I started to fall a little farther behind my brother. 

By the time we reached the first lookout at a break in the tree line, our hoodies were in the backpack. What a beautiful day!

Waipio Valley Outlook

As we made our way up the Z, the terrain changed to a cedar forrest. It felt like another world. If someone had dropped me there blindfolded, I would not have guessed I was in Hawaii. Generations of twisted trunks reaching up through the carpet of ferns.  The path winding through an untouched landscape of giant trees with canopies filling the sky. 

Plethora of these Signs Along the Way

The landscape continued to change as we hiked around the bends. Each valley with water cutting through it from streams to rivers to waterwalls that ran over the trail. Though we choose a very sunny day, the air was cool past the Z trail due to the high elevation and tree canopy. Hoodies back on! 

Waterfall continuing under the trail and down the Valley

There is a serious cause for caution when hiking during the rainy season or with possible rain in the forecast, which is very common in this area. Flash floods would make the trail impassable. There isn’t an alternate way out besides helicopter rescue. Should the rivers rage, you would be stuck until they subside. There is no cell service in this area or the area where you park. 

The Coolest Tree

Another creek stretching over the trail

Giant Trees

Another non-fun detail to be aware of is the mosquitos. They are fierce and aggressive! I am normally not bothered by mosquitos. I have no reaction to their sticks but these swarmed me. Mosquitos are attracted to both the carbon dioxide you breath out and your sweat. You will be admitting both heavily on this hike and they can smell you coming from over 30 feet away. My brother wore dark leggings under his board shorts which worked for him. I just put on my hoodie when it cooled off and tried to keep a move on through the excessively populated areas. Sit down on a log and they will come for you with all their blood sucking friends. They didn’t exist everywhere on the trip though, so you will have a break. 

Turkey Tail Mushrooms

Around mile 6 my shoes came off. Around mile 8 my knee went out, followed my the other knee. The pain was quite unbearable and I begin to switch up my walking style searching for some relief. It could have originated in my hips from constant incline, decline while climbing rocks and stepping up and over large roots. But I had injured my knee a few years back and sometimes on these long hikes, it starts to get sore again. I hadn’t remembered to bring my muscle salve. Far away from the truck and in it for the long haul, I stopped at each ice cold river to soak my knees which provided some brief numbing relief. When I try this again, I’m bringing the salve and maybe a brace. I have also since learned a few stretches to do at intervals that have seriously helped on shorter incline hikes lately. 

I mention this so that you can be more prepared than I was. This is an intense hike, not a casual stroll through the woods. But even though it ranks in the top 5 most painful experiences of my life, I would still do it again. It’s that incredible. 

Trail goes under fallen trees that have continued to grow.

Tea Tree Forrest

                                 

At around mile 8.5 is the Waimanu Valley with a long black sand beach and an abundance of towering waterfalls thoughout the valley normally only seen by helicopter. The view is unbelieveable. It looks like no where else on the Big Island and rivals views on Kauai and Maui. These were taken at the trail before the desend. We were on a day hike and needed to immediately head back since it was approaching 2pm at this point. When I do this again, I would obtain a camping permit so that I could stay in the Valley and enjoy the Waterfalls. This would also break up the hike to 8 miles a day instead of 17 which may have saved my knees. One of the few couples we passed on the hike had camped over night and said they would have stayed two nights had they known how amazing it was. Especially being able to swim under the waterfalls and having the whole place to themselves. 

Waimanu view from the trail before the desend.

Waimanu

Waterfall Valley

Waimanu Black Sand Beach

Half way into the hike back, I was crying from the pain. We’d timed it to get back before night fall but my constant resting breaks and cold water soaks was making that look less and less likely. Every step forward hurt, especially downhill. I tried crawling, crab walking, walking backwards. I probably walked a half mile backwards so I didn't have to bend my knees. I WAS PRAYING!!! By the last mile, my brother was carrying me on his back down the steep rock paths on the Z and the sun was no longing lighting the way. It was nostalgic for me as I am 12 years older than my brother and I used to carry him in baby sligs and backbacks when I was young. He was definitely my hero that day. If you are wondering why there are not pictures of my brother on here. He asked that I not post any online. He didn't say anything about baby pictures. 

When it was really sketchy, I crab walked and he joined me in solidarity and we laughed and laughed. Giving up was not allowed, no one could come and get me. There was no bringing the truck around, I had to get down this cliff. Our eyes adjusted to the full moon light but we did use our cell phones on the path simply because of the root and lava rock factor. You could very easily break a toe or sprain an ankle and neither of us needed that added risk. For you I say, even if you only plan the day like, bring flashlights just in case! It would be very easy to be distracted by the overwhelming beauty of this place and stay out too long. 

The river we’d walked through that morning had increased with the tide and I was freaked out to walk through it in the dark. The current was strong and cold leading into the ocean. Slow and steady I stepped in. My knees loved it, the rest of me not so much. Locals were night fishing, and a few camp fires in the distance gave me lights to head towards. I’ve never been so happy to reach a destination. My brother turned to me to say, 'So you wanna do it again next weekend?". 

Hiking Time: 12hrs 

Miles: 17.5 

Incline: 298 flights of stairs

Health: Hips out of Alignment

All photos and videos ©Sarah Bello 2020 All Rights Reserved 

Challenge Accepted

Am I reaching out or am I standing with my arms by my side? How many of us will never do what we really want to, what we naturally gravitate towards, what we’re gifted with, simply because we think we can’t. Maybe there were steps we missed, harsh comments made, unattained accomplishments, or our timeline didn’t match someone else’s. The older I get the more I don’t concern myself with comparison. Another persons talent doesn’t take from my own. No one stole my dream job, the life I wanted, my potential. If they are living it, then it is theirs, not mine. We aren’t simply in different chapters, we are in different books. 

So what kind of photographer do I want to be? Because even though I’ve been doing it for decades I’ve only poked at the art I truly want to create with a very long stick. 

 I love portraits bordering documentary style. I specifically love to photograph artists, and all forms of artists. Musicians, dancers, actors, painters, writers...In motion, in candid, in creative process. 

You should see the well-deserved lines on a face. The freckles given by their ancestors and exaggerated by the sun in monochrome perfection. Dressed up in costumes or unable to get out of bed in the afternoon. When the natural elements of a human being have been emphasized. When a look can show what kind of day they’ve had, month they’ve had, life they’ve had. That’s the shot I want.

I decided to join Paige Armminta Watts weekly photography challenges on Instagram after looking through the very creative and beautiful submissions that come in each week.

Giving me an assignment narrows down the infinite amount of subject matter and spurs more concentrated creativity. This week was flowers. 

When I think of flowers I think of the endless field and I think of the macro details. I have neither at my disposal. What I do have is the uniquely cultivated botanical oasis that is my parents tropical property up mauka on the Big Island of Hawaii. Very few plants are in bloom right now, however, I was able to find a few varieties of Heliconia. A very dramatic flower that shoots between it’s thick stocks or hangs like a living Calder mobile. And they are enormous enough to only need one. 

The sun was quite high in the sky so most of these were taken under shade with natural light. I carefully navigated the spiders, the fire ants and some of the plants own residue that itches or irritates my bare skin. The rooster brought all his hens through at one point but they were to quick to be included. I jumped, and i bended and I contorted and sweated...but everything was just blah. 

delete delete delete. 

The hanging heliconia needed to hang. I needed to stop hiding my face with the environment. I hide my face a lot in photos. I think I do because then it could be someone else. I can be a stand in figure to use to get the capture I want. My face is too personal. I didn’t realize that it is in fact a insecurity.  Because I immediately think before I post a picture of myself, is this too much me? What someone else might think still has a hold of my left ankle and I’ve been dragging that fucker a long way. But why would anyone trust me to shoot them raw if I won’t even shoot myself that way. AHHHHHHHHHH

I stopped at my favorite tree in the yard, the Ficus. The low light brought about beautiful contrast from the light skin of the tree and the dark shadows behind it. I spent a little while setting up the tripod on the incline surface where roots strangle the ground and spent leaves were 6 inches deep. 

I didn’t know I was flipping off the camera in the moment. I didn’t even notice when I scanned my viewfinder in between timed shots, as I was mostly looking at the light and focus. But in post, there it was. Two of my favorite captures and my middle finger straight up.

The more I thought about it, the more I laughed, and the more I laughed, the more I liked it. I didn’t look like my quiet impassive self, I looked dramatic. 

If I can find my own confidence hidden deep in a imaginary world guarded by a casing of numbness 12 inches thick, then surely I can bring it out in others. 

I am an artist and my medium is photography. 

Some details:

I do not have photoshop on my oldie laptop so these had minimal editing. I think I’d gotten a little lazy with layering filters and using presets. It was getting boring. “I’ll just photoshop that out” has to be taken from my vocab this year. Going back to bare minimals with a light and color slider has been good for me. 

I’m not wearing makeup except for a little mascara on the edges of my lashes. My hair is unwashed and isn’t styled. I didn’t even comb it. Some images show the sunburn or jungle scratches from the day. I was more concerned with keeping my camera from getting scratched than my body I was pulling through pokey things.