It's Okay to Walk Away - Closing out 2016

Listening to Birdie on the record player and drinking Tequila, sweetened aloe juice and muddled with blackberries. It’s New Years Eve and its been an eventful night for this single thirty-something.
I cleaned out the spare room closet so the door shuts without the need for me to stand against it as I stretch for a chair to replace the weight of my body.

I found a large piece of chocolate cake in the freezer, which felt like finding love. 

Tequila and I had a brief dance party to Sia, Stevie Wonder and Walk the Moon before ending in the realization that Tequila never really cares about my well being. 

As the year comes to a close I look back on the last 365 days.  2015 was a very painful year for me but 2016 boldly attempted to surpass it. I rarely participate in what I love most in life. This is no ones fault but my own. I fall into a job or a relationship that my entire being is given too. I forget who I am or what I really want as I morph into what others need me to be. Then I become restless and irritated as it all falls apart.

When you are beaten down, you start to lose your power. When you aren’t heard, you lose your voice. Mental abuse is as exhausting as a marathon but without that sweet ending through the ribbon with your hands grabbing the sky. And when you live for your weekends, you give up 72% of your life.

For possibly one of the first times in my life I was not afraid to let go of something I worked so hard for. Just because you put the time in doesn’t make that your master. When its no longer in your best interest, its time to walk away.  

I’m a Tennessee transplant from Hawaii but born in Oklahoma and most of my friends are scattered throughout the US. Over the last 8 years, when vacation time rolls around, I was torn between family and friends. I rarely even thought about an actual vacation. Where can I go to see the most people I love? Do I see my parents this year or next year? Now that I was free, I was going to drive across the US and see as many people as I could. 

I spent the last 2 months traveling for some direction. 

I wandered from State to State, stopping to visit family and my lifelong friends along the way.

The upcoming blog entries will be a recap of the road trip that started in November.

Let the adventure begin.

We're All Mad Here - Alice in Wonderland Office Halloween

Listening to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Band on the record player. 

Autumn is upon me and as the cool weather sets in, I think about costumes for Halloween. In years past when I worked for a Bank, it became what can I get away with that falls under dress code AND a family atmosphere. There were a few themes when co-worker Andrea came on board with Batman and Robin and Alice in Wonderland. Whatever costume allows you to wear jeans to work was the “theme” prior to that. This entry will focus on Alice in Wonderland. 

Find Batman and Robin here:
   Holy DIY Batman

We combined DIY with store bought. I was Alice, Andrea was the Mad Hatter and a reluctant 

“but I wear my witches hat every year, its tradition”  Mandy was convinced to be the Cheshire Cat. 

 

I had a blue cotton dress I’d found at a cheap retail store years ago that I added a gauzy white shirt too by cutting off the back of the shirt to make it an apron.

The only thing I bought was black and white striped tights. I wore my teal stilettos instead of black Mary Janes.

 

I had a white rabbit stuffed animal, a survivor from the great stuffed animal purge of the early 1990s. With fabric straps I made him a waistcoat. I took apart a 1990s watch I found in my jewelry box and made him a pocket watch. The waistcoat is held on by another jewelry box find...those clips we wore in the 90s to cinch our dresses in the back. Why were we wearing our clothes so oversized?

 

Andrea found her costume online and I was jealous of her tiny hat. 

 

I made Mandy a tail from furry pink and purple boas I found at Hobby Lobby. I cut some of the ends and wrapped them around a headband that I had attached some wire cat ear shapes too.  We did her eyelids with turquoise liquid eyeliner to look like cat eyes. 

 

I made a Necklace for me and coordinating Pins for Andrea and Mandy in the Alice theme with mini apothecary bottles filled with blue liquid and Drink me labels I'd made. I used Listerine as the blue liquid. The other charms I found at Hobby Lobby.

 

 

Andrea made us Alice themed Nameplates and décor with her Cricut to switch out with our normal bank nameplates for the day. 

 

 

 

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

 

“We're all mad here.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

 

The cat asked, “Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know,” Alice answered.
“Then,” said the cat, “it really doesn’t matter, does it?”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Visiting My Sister at Sisters Coffee Company

An overcast Sunday afternoon…..Sade is playing on the record player…I’m sipping hot coffee from my favorite mug, a campfire style in purple that reads “Sisters Coffee Company”. A picturesque coffee shop I frequented on my trip to Portland Oregon a few years back. I remember/instantaneously crave, their gluten free chocolate muffins like it was yesterday. They were basically chocolate cupcakes but because they were dusted with powered sugar instead of frosting they were justifiable to be eaten for breakfast with my favorite latte. 

I think I visited a total of 4 times, 2 of the times in one day snatching the last muffin as if devouring another would give me a new superpower, just as the coffee had given me superhuman speed. My Portland living sister knew some of the employees therefore they were my besties by association. I called out to what’s his name, saying something witty or at least the coffee led me to believe I did.

I lay across the big overstuffed leather sofa in front of the fireplace like it was my own living room.
The handsome man in the black frame glasses (which one right??) sipping his latte across from me would be my new boyfriend, our eyes met and I knew with such certainly we were destined, I would move here to be with him and we'd come here every morning, it'd be our place...then his boyfriend walked in. I shrugged off my soul mate and glanced around the room full to capacity of people busy on their laptops. They all must be writing reviews on this place, I thought or perhaps they are looking into the price of the apartments near by. The Pearl District…who wears pearls anymore?...it would only be a matter of time before they changed that to The Sisters Coffee District.

GF, coffee addicts and lovers of men in black frame glasses go visit immediately…or better yet, get one of those apartments and become a regular.

Sisters Coffee

 

Patrick Hearts Pilates

I started Pilates again after a long hiatus. As soon as I lay down on the mat, this was in my face.

 Patrick, a 10 year old Jack Russell/Toy Fox Terrier is 5 lbs of attention yearning. He craves consistent attention from touching and/or throwing a ball. He follows me everywhere I walk, an extension of my footsteps, sometimes getting so close to the rhythm that he trips me. He follows me into the bathroom, trying and sometimes succeeding in sitting in my lap. At night he sleeps in a bed below my bed. He curls up below my feet as I sit at my desk writing this, biding his time before he asks to get into the chair with me.

I start a YouTube video on Pilates stretching, my back slowly hits the ground and my skin touches fur.

He rolls, he stretches, he rolls over my face, he rolls into the curve of my back, laying on his back and turning his head to stare into my eyes. I attempt to ignore him which only makes him try harder. I concentrate on my breathing and he licks my nose. I engage my core and he rolls onto stomach. I stretch out my side and he nudges my neck. He cries. I give in and pet his tiny head. He gives me 5 minutes before rolling around on the mat again. Thoroughly enjoying an activity that makes me eye level with him...my tiny furry creature.

Patrick HEARTS Pilates.